Last year I returned home for first time in over 40 years. You see, home for me is Australia. It’s where I was born and raised for the first 12 years of my life. While I’m now well into my 50’s and sound like a proper pom, my heart has always remained down under.
That visit home was very special in so many ways, not least because I was able to spend loads of time with my older brother Tony and his very special family. He and I are like chalk and cheese. We really are polar opposites in almost every way – we don’t even look anything alike. In fact, a common question we were asked was, ‘Are you really brothers?’
Well, yes we are, and I love Tony and his family with all my heart.
When I returned to England and to my own family after my stay in Australia, I said to my wife that I felt the trip had been very healing. I had been feeling for a couple of years that I needed to get back to Australia and see Tony, but given I can no longer work and don’t earn an income that was going to be very difficult. Well, a couple of things happened in our lives that meant we unexpectedly had a small amount of money and I was able to make the trip.
In fact, my visit to my brother was a life-changing experience for me. Something really did heal within me, and while I still have plenty of healing that’s needed, what did heal really opened up something inside that has transformed the last 12 months for me – or rather, it has transformed me over the last 12 months or so – or better yet, it has allowed Christ to transform me over the last 12 months or so. I thought it was time to talk a bit about that.
When I got home (in this case ‘home’ is where I permanently live in England …) one of the things I started to notice in my scripture study is the repetition in the Book of Mormon of the idea of Unbelief. We’re constantly being told by the editor, Mormon, that the Nephites ‘dwindled in unbelief’.
It’s a curious expression and as I pondered upon it and studied, I came to the conclusion that my Unbelief is actually those things that I believe, but that are false. Those false beliefs then become one of the main things that prevent me from learning new truths from the Lord. They harden my mind and my heart against new truth, and doing that will indeed result in my dwindling spiritually. It’s a concept that is related to, but not quite identical with, that of (false) traditions of our fathers that the Book of Mormon also frequently refers to and warns against.
It reminded me of this quote by Elder Uchtdorf some years ago:
‘We can block the growth and knowledge our Heavenly Father intends for us. How often has the Holy Spirit tried to tell us something we needed to know but couldn’t get past the massive iron gate of what we thought we already knew?’1
Given the Book of Mormon was written specifically for our day and to us, it struck me that these were concepts I really needed to focus on. If I wanted to develop spiritually, it was essential that I try to understand what false beliefs and false traditions I carried, and that I needed to abandon. That therefore became the main focus of my prayers and study for a period.
I’ve learned that when you pray for something for long enough, with enough sincerity, and with enough real intent – i.e. being totally committed to abandoning any false beliefs and traditions the Lord shows to me – that God is very willing respond to us. Of course, that happened in unexpected ways. I won’t discuss the detail of the particular false belief/tradition I was taught (that might be the topic of a future post), suffice it to say that it wasn’t even a belief I had spent any time thinking about. I didn’t consider it to be very important and not something I would need to concern myself with in this mortal life.
But as the belief came to me, I began to study, ponder and pray about it. As I did so, it became apparent that what I had believed on this topic was false. And when I say it became apparent, what happened was that the truth struck me like a lightning bolt. It was that feeling of ‘pure intelligence’ that Joseph Smith described as being revelation. I knew in my heart and in my mind with a certainty that somehow went beyond conviction.
Something else also happened. I felt an immediate rebuke from my Heavenly Father for my previous belief. Or perhaps, more accurately, I felt an immediate need to apologise to Him. It was as if that prior belief had somehow hurt Him, perhaps in part because it impacted the way I thought about Him, or perhaps because it prevented me from fully coming to Him. It’s difficult to put into words.
Well, when I abandoned that false belief, accepted the truth and apologised with all my heart, it was like the whole world around me turned from black and white to colour. I felt the love of my heavenly parents more strongly than I ever have in my life. I felt closer to Christ than I ever have, felt so much more love for Him. The scriptures opened up in ways that I never expected – it’s almost like they’re brand new scriptures. The Lord has taught me so much – less like line upon like and more like paragraph upon paragraph.
I’ve always loved the Book of Mormon, ever since my teenage years. But now I can’t get enough of the scriptures. Feasting upon them is a daily joy I eagerly anticipate. My prayers are real conversations with God – real connections with Him. I feel to exalt Him and praise Him and give nothing but glory to Him. I really seek His will, I receive specific instructions from Him, and I seek to obey those commandments with all I am.
And think about it – this all started with my finding just one ‘Unbelief’. Inevitably, I have many more that I also need to shed. So, I’m repeating the process again and again. Sometimes it is painful to find that something I’ve believed my whole life isn’t the way things really are. But I’ve found that the truth really will set you free.
I could say so much more about my experiences with the Lord over the last 12 months, but to say this last year has been a rebirth is almost an understatement. I love Him in a way I never have done – that despite a lifetime of trying to keep His commandments, of praying and reading my scriptures and trying to fulfil callings and attending the temple, etc, etc, etc.
You see, that lifetime had been full of good works in a way (although I hasten to add, also many not-so-good works, because I am woefully imperfect), but no amount of good works will save us. They can’t, no matter how hard we work. We never are, were or will be saved by works. There is one thing only that will save us and that is the grace of Christ, bought with His blood.
As I look at the many good people around me, I see so many who are much closer to ‘perfection’ in any absolute sense that I am – most of the people I know attend our church and I could name countless who fall into this category without even thinking about it. I really admire them and the way they live their lives. I am so far short it hurts to think about it.
And yet … overcoming just some of my Unbelief has opened a relationship with God and His Son that I hadn’t previously imagined.
I share this with you because I’ve done nothing remarkable. It’s so, so simple. Recognise you are almost certainly filled with Unbelief/false traditions. Plead with God, with all your energy and soul, and with a burning desire and intent to do whatever He tells you, that He will help you discover what those false beliefs are. Follow through on what He tells you. It might be difficult – painful even – because there’s a reason our subconscious has held onto these false beliefs for so long. Maybe they appeal to your vanity, or pride, or lust, or ease. It might be uncomfortable confronting your unbeliefs.
But it will also be liberating, because yes, the truth really will set you free too.
© Copyright 2025 Jeffrey Collyer
All Things Witness 